Kurloz: Get Kankri's Attention
by XQR
Summary: Kurloz plays tricks on Kankri in the hope of getting his romantic attention, but Kankri doesn't seem to be interested. At least not to begin with.


A/N: Prompt from tumblr: If someone knows of or writes a fic of kurloz kankri inwhich kankri is sexually repressed and a practically sociopathic kurloz has some kind of obsession fucking around with kankri semi maliciously but with an intent of just getting kankris romantic attention… I tried.

Kurloz: Get Kankri's Attention

Kankri's one of the few whom you can have a proper conversation with. Maybe that's why you've let it get this bad.

He waves at you and takes a seat on the bench you're on. He signs 'how are you?' You smile at how considerate he is and let him know that you do in fact have working hear ducts and that he should speak. You miss out the fact that you really like hearing his voice, although having said that you're not always interested in what he's saying. You don't think anyone ever is.

He stays for a long time and you just sit there and have your half-conversations as you like to think of them. Sometimes you'll sign something you haven't taught him yet, today that word was 'tree'. Most of the time he likes to guess what it is before you spell it out for him. Today he manages to get it right, but it takes him a few minutes.

"Wind turbine? No, there aren't any around here…" He goes quiet before he finally asks, "Is it a tree?" You nod enthusiastically and he smiles. It's a beautiful smile.

He repeats the action back at you and you change his hands around. He blushes as his simple mistake of mirroring you directly. You always enjoyed teaching him how to sign. It meant that you could be this close and personal with him, something that not many people had the pleasure of doing. Not that you wanted him to be so open with everyone else, the fact that he only seemed to do this for a select few made you feel special. Like he was yours almost.

Before he leaves he asks you with sincerity if you're okay. He knows that you and Meulin ended your matespritship not that long ago and he seems to genuinely care about your feelings. You tell him that you're fine, because you are. You're still good friends with her, but neither of you really felt any red feelings anymore. It was a mutual agreement to officially end it and you'd say you're both better off. Then he heads off and you wonder what it would take to get him to notice you. Everyone knows that he's a tough nut to crack; he's never even had a red relationship.

**ooo**

"What's gotten into you?" Kankri is standing with his arms wrapped around himself while you give him a thumbs up. "No, it's not good or funny." So maybe it wasn't a good idea to try and steal Kankri's sweater while he was wearing it. And by that you mean you pulled it up to expose his chest high trousers and were quite disappointed that there was no flesh to be seen.

"…not to mention the fact that others may have seen and could trigger them in turn…" He's going on about triggers again and you try to get his attention, but he's doing that annoying thing where he closes his eyes.

You resort to tapping his shoulder and he squeaks and takes a step back. You sign to him that this was all Cronus's idea and that he had dared you. It's all a lie, but you figure it's a fairly believable one. He's gone in a flash and you wonder if that was a good idea. But you liked seeing him so flustered, it was pretty adorable.

**ooo**

You continue to do little things that make the mutant blush a beautiful red. Sometimes he suspects that it's you if you happen to be in vicinity, but he doesn't stop talking to you at any point. You think he's too kind for his own good. He even helps you out when you accidently drop the bucket of purple Faygo on Mituna that was meant for him. By the way Mituna reacted you think that maybe it would have been going too far if you'd dropped it on Kankri; luckily you know how to pacify your moirail.

One day while you're sitting on a giant lily pad looking out he joins you, but it soon begins to rain. You're so shocked when he invites you back to his hive that you almost forget to nod instead of trying to articulate a 'yes'. He looks just as surprised when you do make a sound. It's been long enough that you don't usually try to say anything, but today you did make a 'hmm' of approval that he's never heard, or rather not for a long time.

He gives you a hand up and you end up running back to his hive as the rain gets heavier. Once inside you stand there dripping. You had tried to shield your face, but your hair is wet and plastered to your face and the paint is running. He has a mirror on the wall and you stare into it with a frown as you watch today's masterpiece drip away.

"What's wrong?" Kankri returns with a change of clothes for you and has already discarded his own wet garments. "Oh. The ablution block's the first door on the left upstairs." He hands you the clothes and you smile.

You return in the black sweater that has his sign in red knitted into it. You wonder if he chose this one for a particular reason, but decide that it's probably because it would be extremely long on him and he figured it would fit you better. He stares at your bare legs and inquires about them. You tell him that the trousers were too small. To be truthful they fit just fine around the waist, but they came up so short in the leg that you honestly looked quite ridiculous. Besides, you quite liked the idea of lounging around half naked in front of someone you were trying to impress. Although you doubt he'll be impressed next time he goes upstairs and notices you've rearranged everything just to fuck with him.

You end up sitting on his sofa together, conversing (you feel odd calling it 'talking' seeing as you say nothing aloud). He makes you both hot chocolate and includes a straw. He doesn't seem to miss a thing.

"I've never seen you eat though…" He blushes and starts to babble about triggers and not trying to pressure you.

You lean over and press a finger to his lips, then carefully unpick the stitches right before his eyes. Once you're done you smile so that he can see your sharp teeth in all their glory.

"Oh my…"

You laugh and it sounds a little odd, but it feels good. You don't often take them out for fun; they are a serious reminder of the damage you can do.

"Will you say something?"

You shake your head. Early on you tried to say things without a tongue, but you sounded ridiculous and vowed never to do so in front of another again. Besides, there were other ways to talk to people... Oh how you'd like to use all kinds of chucklevoodoos on Kankri, but you wouldn't allow yourself too. It's one of the things that killed the romance between you and Meulin.

He looks a little disappointed, but you remind him of your vow of silence and he quickly apologises for forgetting. You lean in anyway as if you're going to say something but instead just kiss his cheek before you sit back and give him his personal space he so often rants about.

He doesn't know what to say to that and ends up asking if you'd like more hot chocolate. You shake your head, but he insists on taking the mugs out anyway. You think he's cute the way he runs from the room.

When he returns he has stuff to say. "Now I'm not sure what that was, but maybe you're feeling a little pale and I must say something before you start thinking that's okay. I have a moirail and I'm assuming you still do too. I really don't think -"

You tap him and sign something that leaves him very confused.

"I didn't catch any of that. Could you repeat it slowly?"

You do as he requests, but he still won't understand because you never taught him any profanity. However, he does recognise 'red' and you know he knows what you're getting at.

"Kurloz…I…"

You don't give him a chance to string words together before you lean in and kiss him. He pushes you away and pulls the neck of his sweater up to cover his mouth. You don't like that. You want to show him how much you want him. Mirthful messiahs, you did not mean to get all flushed like this for Kankri of all people, but you're Kurloz motherfuckin' Makara and you do what you want. And right now that means grabbing hold of the other's wrists and pinning him to the sofa while you straddle his lap.

"Kurloz! Get off me!"

You kiss his forehead and shush him as best you can, but he still struggles against you. You sigh and hold up a hand, signing shorthand for 'I love you.' But he doesn't recognise it because it's not something you ever needed to teach him. You can see the fear in his eyes and you smirk. You know that it's taken a lot for him to allow you to be here. No one ever really trusts you, but you can live with that. Everyone is always wondering what is going on in your mind because you keep most things to yourself. You like it that way; it makes you more mysterious. Right now the fact that you haven't really told Kankri much about yourself is making alarm bells ring in his head.

You stroke his face and he flinches as if he expects you to do him harm.

"Kurloz, can you just tell me - in a way which I will understand – what you want?"

You point a finger at his chest.

"Me? What do you want with me?"

You roll your pupil-less eyes and slip a hand between his legs, gently caressing his crotch. You're sure he'll understand and it is quite evident that he does; he freaks out almost instantly.

"Kurloz! No!" He puts up a good fight you think. Or maybe you just thought he was weaker than this. But he's still no match for the strength associated with your purple blood. You make sure he's watching as you spell out the fact that you are rather 'fucking enamoured with a motherfucker.' It's cute to watch him saying it aloud as you sign each letter and he looks rather embarrassed that you've made him use such language. Still, he repeats it back to you and you nod and bring his hands to your lips.

"If that's so," he says, "would you be kind enough to show that love and let me go?"

You get off him as requested and he heads straight for the door without a word. You lie on the sofa for half an hour? Maybe more? But it's clear that he's not going to return any time soon. You could wait…you could try Porrim's because that's your best guess at where he is, but you decide that you've done enough for one day. Before you leave you fold up the sweater he lent you and place it on the arm of the sofa. You're pretty sure he'll appreciate that.

**ooo**

Next time you see him he doesn't say anything about your confession. But he does ask if you know where his cookies disappeared to. You say you have no idea and remind him that eating cookies is actually quite difficult without a tongue (you neglect to mention that you did in fact crush them and mix them in with some slime). As usual he apologises for not thinking about something like that and hopes he didn't offend you with the suggestion.

You pat his back and smile. To you he is the least offensive person you've ever met. Although if you had to say anything about him was offending you it would be the fact that he was this lovely and he wasn't letting you into a quadrant.

It isn't long until you're most recent prank takes affect. Aranea plucks the post-it note off of Kankri's back before gently hugging him from behind. He freezes and she holds up the note.

"This was on your back," she says.

He thanks her for bringing it to his attention and even gives her a quick squeeze back in thanks. You stand there not amused; your plan has been foiled. Ideally it would have been someone like Meenah (probably would have come with a headlock) or Cronus (added hair ruffling).

Kankri stands there with his arms crosses, looking at you with a frown.

You smile as if you have no idea what is going on. It doesn't work; you look guilty as hell.

"Kurloz, while I appreciate that there isn't a great deal to do in the dream bubbles I really am getting quite tired of these little tricks you are pulling."

You tell him that all you want is for him to notice you.

He looks confused. "I talk to you most days. If that isn't noticing you then I don't know what is."

You say that you want him to notice your red feelings.

"Well, you have an odd way of showing it. I feel like you're trying to show black feelings if anything. Honestly I thought you just enjoyed playing tricks on people."

You tell him that you only do this to him and he doesn't take it well. Of course it sounded wrong, but you try to explain that it's something you do to people you like because… Your hands end up on your head as you realise you don't know how to explain it. Maybe you do it because it worked with Meulin or perhaps you want a reason to fall back on if you're rejected.

You give up and lay down on a bench in defeat. He follows you and perches on the end.

"So, you really meant all the stuff you said and did the other day?"

You nod and continue to stare into the sky.

"I'll admit that I was avoiding you because I was unsure of what to make of it all. It seemed quite sudden and you know that I avoid such quadrants."

You knew it was foolish. Every night that you thought of him you reminded yourself that it was not likely to ever become a reality. But when you were dead there wasn't anything to lose by trying. Then again, you are dead, so why are you even trying? Why don't you just force him to be yours?

You sit up with your head in your hands. No, you weren't going to stoop to that level. You have the rest of eternity to break him the old fashioned way and it would give you something to do.

You get up and sign one last thing before you walk away. _If you ever want to break your vow I won't tell anyone, as long as you don't tell them when I break mine._ You see the intrigue in his face just before you turn.

**ooo**

He doesn't do anything differently. He still speaks to you and asks you to teach him more ways to sign. Yet he never mentions the last intimate conversation you had. In fact he makes it so that you never enter that territory again, driving the conversation elsewhere if he ever suspects you're trying to steer it that way. You never see that intrigue in his face again.

Not for a long time. Not until one day when you're sitting at your husktop trading fun gifs with Meulin across Trollian. You glance out of the window, watching the rain streak down the glass. It's pretty, you think. It looks like no one's outside, but then you notice the figure in red on the bench. It's where you usually sit with him. He's just lying there with nothing to stop the rain falling.

A few minutes later you're standing above him, an umbrella in hand to stop the rain hitting his face.

"Hello, Kurloz." He smiles up at you.

You sign to him awkwardly; it's hard with an umbrella in hand.

"I was waiting for you," he explains. Your eyebrows rise in response.

You invite him to your hive and he accepts, huddling under the umbrella with you on the short walk back.

You wonder what he's doing as he changes out of the clothes that were so drenched that there was a trail of water marking where he had walked. Why was he waiting for you when you clearly weren't going to turn up? Is he trying to recreate the day you first kissed him? Is he going to take you up on that offer?

He looks cute in the clothes that are too big for him, the ankles are turned up and the sleeves are bunched around his wrists. He asks for your permission to hang his clothes to dry and you can't help but notice that alongside the obvious items there is also a pair of red briefs.

He stands there, not sure of what to do with himself. For once. You smile and take his hand, leading him to your respiteblock. He surprises you by not pulling away.

You tell him to make himself comfortable while you quickly type away to Meulin; you don't like to leave people hanging. When you turn back he's trying to find a comfortable spot in the bone pile. You join him, settling down with ease.

He looks at your position and attempts to copy it. "Are you just used to this? I have things poking into me in all places."

He hears your quiet laugh and gets up. You do the same and offer him your seat which he accepts while you push things into place before settling down next to him. You ask him why he was out in the rain.

You swear there was a slight blush in his cheeks. "I wanted to see you." You don't need to say anything; your facial expression speaks for you. "I…you… Were you serious about breaking your vow?"

You nod and add _only for you._

"So, you can speak?"

You shake your head and explain that it's not about that, it's about making sounds. He points out that he could hear you laugh. You remind him that you didn't open your mouth to do so. He proceeds to remind you about that time you took out the stitches and laughed. Then he laughs at the face you pull; you were hoping he wouldn't remember.

You move the conversation along and ask why he's even asking about such things.

"I've been thinking… The afterlife is long and it's almost becoming unbearable. I've repeated lectures and discussions to people more times than we can both stand. Some of them even tell me what I'm about to say now. It's boring when you're around the same people day in day out and the majority don't want to know you. But you do…and I'm ready to change things and try something new." He pauses for breath. "Kurloz, will you try to be my matesprit?"

You smile so wide that the stitches hurt. You lift his hand to your lips and sign your agreement in as many ways as you know. He asks you to remove the stitches and you abide. Then he climbs into your lap and kisses you softly, hands in your hair so that he doesn't mess up your face paint.

You almost don't believe that Kankri Vantas is currently giving you the romantic attention you'd desired for however long. You just sit back and take it, letting him lead you in case he starts yelling about triggers or whatever he usually says. You're good at not touching him though; Mituna had drilled that into you.

He rolls his hips against you as he whispers in your ear, "I want you."

If you could articulate words you'd be asking where the Kankri everyone knew had gone. Instead you just let him do what he wants, which seems to be having his way with you. He's got one hand down your pants and the other down his own.

"Hey." It doesn't come out perfectly, but it does make him stop and look up. From there you continue to sign that he's going way too fast and that he's spoiling his first time.

He retracts his hands and shyly asks if you would show him how to do things. You tell him that you want him naked. He starts to undress, but says he feels weird with you watching, so you get up and begin to undress you both, keeping him close. You like the feel of his skin against yours; he's so warm in comparison. You lay back in the pile once more with him straddling your hips.

Gently you begin to touch him, all quite innocent to start. You feel his shoulders, his chest, and ghost across his stomach which makes him squirm. It turns out that he's a little ticklish and you smirk as you touch him in all the right places to make him flinch. You like the way it makes him flush and forget everything else. You take the chance to brush against his more intimate areas and he appears to enjoy that.

You sweep your hands up his back and bring him closer to you. Gently you use your lips to tease a nipple. It's times like this that you wish you had a tongue, but you can still suck on them and enjoy the way they harden so you can very carefully take the hard nub between your teeth. Kankri gasps – in surprise or enjoyment? You're not sure – and it's one of the best things you've heard for a while. You realise that you're the first person who gets to hear this, or at least you're pretty sure you are.

His hands wrap around your horns as you continue to give his upper body the attention he clearly desires. You never imagined he'd react like this. Actually you thought that he was going to insist that you were in a quadrant for a sweep or something before you were even allowed to touch him. Yet here he was initiating the contact and starting to grind against you. You can feel his bulge between you, searching for something to latch onto, but you're not ready yet.

"Hey." It grabs his attention just as it did the first time. You move his hands to the base of your horns and motion for him to rub gently. He does so and you relax into the pile. You coax your bulge out, glancing at Kankri's own dripping appendage, thinking about the fact that you were the one who was making him like this.

It doesn't take long before purple and red are entwined between you. He makes a pleased sound and you realise that he's been awfully quiet. Well, quiet for Kankri.

"Oh my," he mutters. You cock your head. "It's an impressive length." You smirk as you begin to stroke between his legs, teasing his entrance. "Will it fit?" You can see he's getting a little worried, but you're pretty sure it's just because it's his first time. You press a finger to his lips and then move him so that you can slide into him easily. Of course, you have the courtesy to ask him if he's ready first. He nods hesitantly and you pull him down onto you without a second thought; you know he'll be fine.

He winces a little and you feel how tight he is around you. It feels amazing. You give him a moment to adjust, but before you can move he is already. He rides you slowly, but he does it well. You wonder if he's practised. You relax and let him do the work, casually stroking his bulge as he does. That makes him go faster and emit more sounds. He doesn't try to hold anything back to your surprise and his moans fill the room. You want to ask him to say your name, but his eyes are closed at present. You wonder if it's because he doesn't want to look at you. Perhaps he regrets this…

You take hold of his chin and angle his face towards you. He stares into your blank eyes, slowing his pace while he does so. You make your request. Soon he begins to whisper your name breathlessly and with intensifying need. Red genetic material soaks your thighs soon after.

Once he has ridden out his orgasm he slumps against your chest and nuzzles into it. As cute as he is when he does this you remind him that you're still game to fuck his brains out. Without comment he slides down between your legs and begins to play with your bulge. At first he uses only his hands, but you can see he's contemplating how much he could fit in his mouth.

You tell him to use his tongue. He does as you ask and mirthful messiahs, had he been lying to you all this time? Or did copious amounts of talking make a tongue this talented? You didn't really mind because he was making you melt right there. You look down and see his cute face staring up at you with his cute hair and god you were one lucky bastard today.

You forget to warn him that you're about to come. He chokes and ends up with purple dripping down his chin and onto his chest. You'd say it was a good look for him and who knows, he might even agree. You pull him up so that he can resume cuddling up to you. If you could talk you'd whisper about how amazing he was and how beautiful he is, but you can't and you don't want to distract him. You're more than content to let him lie there and fall asleep, which is exactly what happens.

A/N: Where to end? Also tfw you want to make him call Cronus's name and turn it into Cronkri eue"


End file.
